When I witnessed the power of writing
My mind is very sensitive and extremely vulnerable oftentimes. I think that is the case for many. Still, let me speak about mine as I am more righteous to do that. For a bit time when someone of you read this article keep your judgmental attitude aside. It’s not an order, but a mere request.
As I said, it was the vulnerability of my mind that is what disturbed me for a long time. How vulnerable, is something that I cannot describe as we don’t have a scale to measure them. So what we usually do is compare. The petty comparison makes us think that somebody’s case is far better than others.
How petty. How can someone compare a trauma with others’ trauma? My dear brothers and sisters, trauma is trauma. Pain is pain. Heartbreak is heartbreak. You don’t have to measure it to understand it’s a pain, heartbreak, or trauma. Neither you don’t have to compare them. It is what it is the person says.
Everything in our life doesn’t need an explanation. It does not necessarily need to be understood by some relative or stranger, or even your life partner. What you should do foremost is understand yourself. And that is where I have failed. Failed so miserably for so many years.
Every time I speak back for myself, I have been put aside as a selfish, worthless creature. Those were my teen days. And so I started to think and assume that maybe I was wrong. Perhaps I should have been stayed silent, was what my thoughts back in those days were.
Years after that I realize that I was correct then, it was the society that made me think I was wrong. By the time I realized it it was a bit late. But I still believe in the proverb “better late than never”.
To say sincerely, I reached a stage where I was no more speaking for myself, I was misled by the thought that staying silent can make the room peaceful and I can have a peaceful mind. Every time it proved to be utter nonsense. And the waves inside my head started affecting me very badly. To be honest I started feeling like going crazy head over toes.
I tried, and tried, and tried my best to keep my mind under my control. Trust me, once you feel like losing control of your mind, it is not that easy to get back. I have felt it and lived it. So what did I do? That is what we must discuss here. At least, that is what I had in my mind while I started to write this article.
The solution was not mine. But for privacy reasons, I am not mentioning the name who suggested this as a solution. Whatever, I have not trusted a bit in those words, until and unless I realized those were the golden words I was hearing in my life.
Recently, I read somewhere that if I can write my problems, then half of it is solved. Yes, it is true so far from my life experiences. He suggested I write my experiences. Not on my laptop or phone. Simply go old school, by writing journals. Journals to write my problem, and research for solutions.
It’s fine because I like writing but never believed in the power of writing. The first day I wrote my problem, it was a bit difficult to start because I could not figure out what to write and where to begin, as I believed I had many issues to write down and solve. But as time passed on writing was easier, I had a clear mind every time I made an entry.
Basically, because each entry was more than my problem by then. It was my thoughts, anecdotes, feelings, suppressions, frustrations, and many more. Additionally, I started to find solutions for them. But what actually startled me was the solutions were so simple, that made me think that why have I never recognized them earlier. So that is the power of writing that I mentioned above.
You don’t have to be a veteran writer, to write down your own problems. When no one can play you as well as you, no one can write down you as well as you. Believe in this immature theory of mine. You too will find the peace of mind you are looking for.
Before concluding let me say that, today I keep two journals in hand. One where I write all the negative thoughts in my head. Luckily I make few entries into it nowadays. And the other one is where I compulsorily make a weekly entry of all the good things that happens to me. It is such a nice thing to realize that at least a good thing happens to me every week. At least I am witnessing it so that I can make an entry.
From the days when I have been struggling with my mental health, today I have reached to stage where I can categorize the things happening to me as good and bad and make a separate entry for both.
Maybe it’s not such a big achievement, still, it’s one for me.
