From being judgemental to FEMINIST

Photo by Jen Theodore on Unsplash

This is a bit long journey of mine. When I was 13, I was the typical girl of my age. And today when I am 30, I am trying my best to be not the typical 30 years old woman. Besides, I try my level best to bring up a daughter who will never be like me.

It sounds crazy, isn’t it? For me, always my opinions and perceptions toward many have been crazy. Some kinds of stuff labeled as normal are extremely crazy, and others under the crazy category are normal in reality. I have always felt that.

A woman laughing out loud, spreading her legs while sitting, wearing heavy makeup, or standing up for herself is considered to be the reason for slut shaming her. The sad part or even the worst part is that we have more women speaking against such women.

When I was 13, even I was judgemental of smart girls in my class. If a girl has a boyfriend, if a girl is smart enough to handle her stuff, if a girl wears a dress of her choice (kind of revealing to others)- I would usually think “what a girl is she?”. Fast forward to today, when I am 30, I am fortunate to be knowledgeable to an extent to realize that I was wrong before and it was not the girls who were wrong.

I wore my scarf because my dad insisted I do so, I did not get the fish fry because my brother was at home, I could not wear a dress of my choice because my mom didn’t approve of it, I was restricted to having a haircut of my liking because my in-laws were interested in me having a long hair, I continually tried to reduce my fat because my husband blatantly told me I am good looking when I am slimmer, and the list continues.

Why is it so difficult for people to respect others' personal choices? How a dress I am wearing, a lipstick color I choose to apply, my haircut, or my religious concepts affect you. I always wanted to ask this loud.

Before I knew what feminism was, even I was against it. There was always a great struggle made by a group of people to mislead others about feminism. That is what I have felt like. Otherwise, why would someone misinterpret such a positive socio-political move?

Feminism was always considered to be women beating men, women becoming physiologically stronger than men, and many more wrong examples. I was a bit late realizing that feminism in reality gives men and women equal respect. I am a feminist, so I do believe that men can cry and there is no such thing like don’t be like a woman.

It was after embracing the concept precisely, I realized what a joke is and what a sexist comment is. Regrettably, sexist comments, racism, and body shaming are mistreated as jokes. Distinguishing between them from jokes is what I was able to do, once I started believing in the concept of FEMINISM.

I am not an activist or a speaker on the subject, but I am a supporter. And I wish to bring up my daughter on such thoughts, giving her the liberty to live her life under her choices. I would definitely make her realize her self-worth is much more valuable than the societal norms of being a good daughter, wife, and woman.

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Naufiya Mohamed

Naufiya Mohamed

I am Naufiya Mohamed, aged 28 apparently when I edited my bio. Writing makes me happy so I write anything that interests me and wakes up the writer in me.